Mom Tells Son: If She Wants To Have Sex, Get Her To Text ‘Yes’ First

Nov 30, 2013

By NewsOne Staff

Roxanne Jones, a former executive at ESPN, writes that men should get a girl to text “yes” before having sex. Is she right or is her advice too extreme? Should mothers be encouraging their sons to get a woman to text consent before they engage in sexual intercourse?

 

Take our poll below!

Sounds extreme, but not for Roxanne Jones, a former executive at ESPN, who says such motherly advice can potentially help save her son from a false rape accusation. In an op-ed published on CNN, Jones encourages other moms to follow her lead, arguing, in part, that sex has evolved over the years to such a degree that parents “still fail to discuss sex and evolving sexual mores frankly with our sons and daughters, all this freedom has led to confusion about the ever-changing rules of engagement when it comes to sex.”

Roxanne Jones

To be sure, she makes it clear in her piece that “no” means “no” and that no woman asks to be rape. However, Jones highlights statistics from the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism which reveal that about 97,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are victims of alcohol-related sexual assault or date rape. Such circumstances further complicates the meaning of consent, Jones argues.

So, in order to remove any doubt about consent, Jones recommends the following: Never have sex with a girl unless she’s sent you a text that proves the sexual relationship is consensual beforehand. And it’s a good idea to even follow up any sexual encounter with a tasteful text message saying how you both enjoyed being with one another — even if you never plan on hooking up again.

 

Crazy, I know, but I’ve actually been encouraging my son and his friends to use sexting — minus the lewd photos — to protect themselves from being wrongly accused of rape. Because just as damning text messages and Facebook posts helped convict the high-schoolers in Steubenville of rape, technology can also be used to prove innocence.

How to protect yourself from false rape allegations is a constant conversation among professional athletes. I’ve covered many rape cases over my career, including those of Kobe Bryant, the Duke lacrosse team, and many others that never made the headlines. Sports agents and athletes have tried everything from openly or secretly recording their sexual encounters, which is illegal in some states, to asking all women they have sex with to sign a pre-consent form. And though the public may scoff at stories of athletes who frequent strip clubs or solicit prostitutes, many athletes say they do this to avoid unwarranted sex assault charges.

To be sure, Jones has plenty of critics:

Imagine a guy saying to you — "Hey, I'll sleep with you, but I need you to TEXT ME consent first." Hmmm. Read: cnn.com/2013/11/26/opi… #CNN— 

Brooke Baldwin (@BrookeBCNN) November 26, 2013

Roxanne Jones wants to invalidate the rapes of many, many people because they said yes to something that one time cnn.com/2013/11/26/opi…— 

Fiddler (@cFidd) November 26, 2013

instead of teaching your son to respect women tell him they're all whores who just want to wrongly accuse him of rape cnn.com/2013/11/26/opi…— 

Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) November 26, 2013

If you ever write "Make no mistake, no woman..is asking to be raped. But…" maybe just step away from the keybord. cnn.it/1c7ilS7— 

Jake Grovum (@jgrovum) November 26, 2013

Indeed, Jones is suggesting a very unconventional way of protecting one’s self against false rape allegations, but is it extreme or is she on point?

Sound off!

Should Men Get A Woman To Text 'Yes' Before Having Sex?

YesNoOther:

Vote

Beckham admits Manchester United teammates made him perform embarrassing sex act in front of team

He detailed the incident in the upcoming documentary ‘Class of 92.’

By Mike Foss – November 29, 2013 at 1:48pm EST

(AFP) 

International soccer star David Beckham’s professional career began with Manchester United in 1992, part of a rookie talent pool that has been unrivaled more than 20 years later. In the upcoming documentary, Class of ’92, Beckham and former United teammates Nicky Butt, Ryan Giggs, Gary Neville, Phil Neville, and Paul Scholes recount their most intimate memories from their time with the club. Metro has unveiled details the former England captain shared about the hazing he experienced at United.

Beckham’s story from Metro:

‘One of mine was surprising! The Clayton Blackmore!’

Recalling his teen horror, he said: ‘Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones!’

‘The fact that I had to look at Clayton Blackmore’s calendar and do certain things, while looking at Clayton Blackmore…’

‘I mean it was embarrassing to talk about!’

Forced to recall the full scale of the horror on camera for the documentary, the 38-year-old said: ‘I was embarrassed when I was saying it on camera let alone talking about it more. But it’s something that we all had to go through. It was definitely something I wouldn’t like to go through again!’

Beckham’s story comes in the wake of Miami Dolphins lineman Jonathan Martin’s allegations that he experienced locker room hazing throughout his time with the team. Martin’s claims are currently being investigated by the NFL.

Beckham began his career with Manchester United in 1991 as a member of the youth squad. When he turned professional, United loaned him to Preston North End from 1994-95. When Beckham returned to Manchester, his career skyrocketed.  Beckham and United won six Premier League titles, two FA Cups, and a UEFA Champions League trophy.

Why sex education matters

Lucy Emmerson | guardian.co.uk | Thursday 24 January 2013 12.26 GMT

Photograph: Veer/Getty Images

 A year-old campaign is calling for good quality lessons that explain more than just the biology of puberty and reproduction

 

Sex education has mattered to a lot of people for a long time. This year, the Sex Education Forum hosted by the National Children's Bureau, celebrates 25 years since its launch. SEF was born with eight members, including three religious organisations. Journalists were sceptical that we would agree on much and certainly not about teaching topics such as homosexuality and abortion. Teachers, however, responded enthusiastically, expressing their feelings of isolation and frustration at the lack of support for their work.

Over the years people have argued that sex education must be more than just the biology of puberty and reproduction, and must look at the real life context too – ie relationships. So SEF and others have called for compulsory sex and relationships education (SRE) to be taught to all children and young people from primary schools upwards.

One young person told us sex education matters because "without it, we'd still be giggling uncomfortably whenever anything to do with sex is mentioned". The word "sex" seems to be a problem, but it shouldn't be. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of being human and sexual development is a normal part of growing up. Some primary schools call the topic "growing up" and this can be more meaningful to young children and more comfortable for adults. It doesn't matter what it is called as long as it is happening, and by "it" we mean learning about family, friendships, staying safe, healthy relationships, puberty, sexual health and more.

Sex education matters in primary schools because four-year-olds ask where babies come from, five-year-olds browse the internet and six-year-olds want to be popular with their friends. Sex education matters at home because children want their parents to be the first people to talk to them about growing up, sex and relationships. Yet many parents say they lack confidence to answer their children's questions frankly. Sex education matters in secondary schools especially because this is a time when young people come under new pressures from their peers and are reaching for more independence and considering their own views on love, romance and what is acceptable or unacceptable for them.

Today, the consensus of support for SRE is bigger and broader than ever before. SEF represents diverse voices from more than 75 religious, family, youth, disability, health and education organisations. All our member organisations believe sex education matters. For example, Kids, a charity working with young disabled people, joined SEF because clients said their experiences of SRE were "too late" and they were "talked at rather than listened to".

Around 20,000 young people took the time to answer a UK youth parliament survey about SRE; more than a third said their SRE was "bad" or "very bad". That was in 2008 and young people are still saying the same today.

There are signs that SRE is improving but progress is too slow and too patchy. In some primary schools the only SRE is one lesson about puberty taught in the summer term before moving to secondary school and sometimes that will be for the girls only. In other areas primary and secondary schools have worked together to plan a comprehensive curriculum that grows with the child and builds vocabulary and knowledge at an appropriate pace.

It is encouraging that MPs from all parties attended a recent Westminster Hall debate to talk about personal, social, health and economic (PSHE) education with loud support for making relationships education part of every child's learning. Ann Coffey MP said "the knowledge that PSHE gives children will help prevent further Rochdale and Jimmy Savile scandals" and she is right. The evidence shows that young people who have had comprehensive SRE that starts early and is taught by trained educators are more likely to have sex for the first time at an older age, with a partner of a similar age and use contraception.

To highlight the consensus that sex education matters and to press for the political support needed to get good quality SRE in all classrooms, we are running 12 months of online discussion and debate.

(Lucy Emmerson is co-ordinator of the Sex Education Forum)